ASK ANYONE.

Drawn 5 pictures this week, hate all of them. Drew a comic, lost it all to a corrupted file.
So pardon me while I go hate myself. : D

Regarding my last journal, I have a feeling that some people just skimmed over the post looking for keywords and kind of missed what I was saying.

The super simple version is this: I feel like all my years of comicking have done nothing for me. I feel like I've "paid my dues" to some extent but am still stuck at the bottom tier of the internet art world, especially on dA. I'm not planning on giving up, that was never a concern...

I probably should have put effort into drawing fan art or something as a young teenager so that today more people might give my more serious projects a look over. XD

So, lately I've realized something about myself.

I realized that since I started posting comics online, like, 5 years ago, I've been unconsciously striving to meet some kind of goal with everything I produce. The main goal that I always acknowledge has been to one-up myself, but another one that I realized that I've had was to achieve some kind of mass notoriety. Like, it sounds so shallow, but I've always been striving to either get a feature on drunk duck to get a DD her on dA. But I've realized that I'm not going to get that notoriety, or at least not at this point in my life. No matter how hard I work or how many pages I produce, it's not going to make a difference. I'm just not good enough and probably won't ever be.

But, you know, that doesn't mean I want to give up, just that I need to readjust my goals... or just stop having any goals, just keep trying to get better. This has never been about being popular or anything, so much as spreading my story to as many people as I can, because it makes me happy to entertain others... but then I feel like the effort and stress I put myself through for mediocre art isn't worth it. : / I don't even want to attempt personal art anymore unless I think it'll appeal to someone else because, with the effort and the time and heart that I put into things just to have no one look at it... it feels like I just wasted a huge part of my life and have nothing to show for it but a few memories and a tiny bit of practice.

So, you know, I look at people around me who seem to be successful here on dA and stuff and I wonder what I'm doing so wrong. D:

TL;DR I feel like I haven't gained anything from all the comics I've drawn and probably never will. I'm not giving up by any means but I feel like I shouldn't be so motivated anymore.

My school caught on fire. | D

Everyone's fine, don't worry, it was just the spray room, but still. LOL.

Didn't stop me from having class in another building though. >> Bastards.

COMMISSIONS? Click here! ---> [link]

Ohhh boy, she found another one!!

1. Who is your oldest surviving character, and what date were they created?
Oldest surviving? That's a tie between Tabbi and Sissy. They were both created for another story, back in 7th grade when I was going to be a writer instead of a cartoonist... so that's like.... god, 6 years ago now. D: I can't believe it!

My oldest character ever is Dodger who has kind of morphed into Kojie over the years. He hails from about 1996.

2. Since you created them, how have they changed?
Tabbi and Sissy?
Well, Tabbi was a complete Mary Sue. She was highly influenced by all those cartoon shows where the one girl main character is both the voice of reason and the badass... she had red hair, was really badass at acrobatic type stuff, could hot-wire cars, and ultimately saves everyone's asses.
Sissy's original purpose, to be an asshole ice witch and Tabbi's rival, hasn't really changed... her backstory, however, has changed drastically. I'm not going to say much more because HURR HURR YOU'LL HAVE TO READ THE COMIC. : B

3. Which of your characters has changed the most since you created them? Describe how they have changed.
Physically Sophie because she, you know, switched races. >>
Otherwise Tadhg. He went from being a bitchy emo kid to a slightly less bitchy nerdy kid who just happens to wear a lot of dark colors. His virus isn't as prominent as it was at first (more or less because of the story changes) and he has a cute little puppy and likes math. He's also more social than he used to be (well... not THAT much, he just happens to have more infected friends, thus a common bond.)

4. And which character has changed the least?
Crow. Physically his hair has changed and he's gotten a little taller, but that's about it... he's the same character he was originally on a basic level.

5. Which of your characters (if any) have stories or relationships with somebody else's characters, and what kind of relationship is it?
Lol, well, Devlin is the most obvious. She's 's character who was created for Anarchy... but then also used in some of her own stories. So, technically there are two versions of Dev, but meh. Dev is a pyro from Boston and pretends to not be Tadhg's girlfriend but there's definitely SOMETHING there, no matter how much they like to pretend there isn't.
Some other notable cameos are 's Lenny, who is Tadhg's "sensitive" childhood friend and 's Nova, who is one of the furry girls who follow Kojie around. : B

6. Finally, if you like, tag some friends to do this meme.
Whoever has some characters and some time! : D

~*~

SO. I can has bronchitis and probably had Swine Flu. Uber awesome. : D